relationship advice

Let’s Talk About Sex(ting)…

Sexting. That magical time in a person’s life where you share intimate details with the entire iphone cloud (and if you’re in high school, don’t sext EVER. Never ever ever ever ever).

But just like the real thing, some guys are great at it, and others are, well, douchebags.

Miserable fail. Even if he's trying to be funny, it's not funny. Don't be this guy.

Miserable fail. Even if he’s trying to be funny, it’s not funny. Don’t be this guy.

Don’t be that guy.

Lesson of the day: Light Humor + Sincere Compliments = Happy Lady

Think about the woman you’re trying to sext. Unless she’s your POA, you think she’s pretty awesome, right? Chances are, at least 10 other guys have thought the same thing, and ALL OF THEM have tried to get her to send a naked selfie. Your job is to be different from the run of the mill, “Send me a pic” that she hears from everyone else. You’ll be different from them if you make her FEEL (emotionally! get your head out of the gutter) better than they did.

For starters, here is a short list of all the things women think when they get the inevitable, “Send me a pic,” “Send me something naughty,” “I wanna see your body,” “Pic,” “Show me more,” etc etc etc:

 

“Omg, is he serious right now?”

“Is he joking? Why did he think this was ok?”

“Uh….wow. I kinda like this. But I don’t know what to say!”

“Oh. My. God. He likes/loves me. I just know it”

“Gross. This guy is so annoying, why am I texting back right now? Whyyyyy?”

“What if he’s showing this conversation to his friends? What if he posts it on facebook or twitter?”

“If I sent him a pic, would he save it for blackmail? Is this smart? I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be taking pictures”

“Hmmm. He is so hot! Play on playa. Let’s see what happens now…”

EVERY woman thinks this. Trust me.

EVERY woman thinks this. Trust me.

 

Pretty much my reaction every time.

Pretty much my reaction every time.

 Remember, be different. HUMOR + SINCERE COMPLIMENTS = HAPPY LADY

Here are some examples of excellent sexts or almost sexts:

Humor + Compliments = Happy Lady. I love this so much for a million reasons.

Humor + Compliments = Happy Lady. I love this so much for a million reasons.

Yup.

Yup.

yup. yup.

yup. yup.

very cute

very cute

If you’re stuck for what to say, use these as a guide. And the compliment part? If I need to explain this to you, you’re already a douchebag.

To make the best impression, use what God gave you…

…your brain.

 

And don’t be a douche.

 

Earn More Confidence

Dilemma: You want to look like Bradley Cooper, but you don’t, and never will.  You want to be richer, smarter, leaner, etc.  Therefore, you shy away from taking chances at work, and feel somewhat inadequate with women.  Sound familiar?

The good news is women don’t care as much about looks and money as you think. What they DO care about is confidence.

$20 says he has major swag

$20 says he has major swag

She was already rich...didn't need his money.

She was already rich…didn’t need his money.

Before Brad, there was Billy Bob. Dude has major confidence.

Before Brad, there was Billy Bob. Dude has major confidence.

This model could have any famous guy.  He has what you could have, too...

This model could have any famous guy. He has what you could have, too…

Confidence is a state of mind, and you EARN confidence by making small but significant changes in your life.

Building confidence starts with improving yourself:

Step 1: Do 20 push-ups every morning, immediately after getting out of bed. Then, do 50 sit-ups. Do this DAILY, even if you already workout.

Step 2: Learn something new each day. This can be anything—read the news, watch a documentary, visit a museum, research turtles or penguins or sharks…it doesn’t matter…just learn something!  If you devote half the time you spend on facebook to learning new, interesting things about the world, your knowledge will increase exponentially.

Step 3: Save more money. If you can’t save more money with your current income, get creative with other (legal and ethical) ways to make extra cash outside your main job.  There are all types of ways to make money from home: sell items on craigslist/ebay, work on Amazon mechanical turks, start a successful blog. You can even go old school with a side business—mow lawns on the weekends or even have a lemonade stand:)

Step 4: Become more spiritually active.  Even the most avid atheists can enjoy spiritual peace.  Celebrate whatever higher power you believe in, even if it’s mother earth.  Appreciate the color of the sky, the magnificence of the stars, the wonder of the oceans. Be aware of the world you live in, and be grateful. Your time is limited, after all.

 

Resources I love:

For Fitness and Health:

http://www.crossfit.com/  http://www.mensfitness.com/training/workout-routines  http://thepaleodiet.com/ http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

For Wealth:

http://100startup.com/   http://thesecret.tv/   http://financialmentor.com/wealth-building/how-to-build-wealth/7699  https://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome  http://www.retailmenot.com

For Peace of Mind and Knowledge:

http://tatfoundation.org/best_spiritual_sites.htm  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/15-steps-to-cultivate-lifelong-learning.html   http://www.arthistory.net/  http://www.davincilife.com/

Learn it. Live it.

Lesson 7: Don’t Hit on Girls at the Gym…

Unless you read this first.

I know you’re excited to hit the weights after all the holiday eating and drinking, but let’s keep the testosterone in check with what women want/don’t want in the way of attention at the gym.

(Here’s a hint: They don’t want you to be a douchebag)

Yes, every woman is thinking this.

Yes, every woman is thinking this.

Hey, it’s ok…

  1. To look. And by “look,” I mean, maybe a glance or two. Let her know you’ve noticed her, but don’t linger for more than 1 or 2 seconds, and PLEASE, for the love of God, DO NOT look at her while you’re doing bicep curls, grunting, or making noises of any kind. And you’d better not be wearing a douchey tank or wife beater. No.
  2. To give a compliment. Ideally, you want to say something like, “I like your shoes!” if she’s sporting some new neon green nikes, because A) she loves those shoes, too, and B) hearing a guy say, “I like your shoes” (with a smile on his face), makes a woman feel noticed without feeling like a piece of meat. AND, it saves you both potential embarrassment from other gym-goers listening to your conversation. If she’s at all interested, she will give you cues that she’s ok with talking a little longer.
  3. To chat A LITTLE. Ok…you told her you like her shoes. She smiled, tossed her hair, and said, “Thank you!” enthusiastically. Your turn. Keep it short and sweet.  Smile and say something like, “ I don’t think I could get away with wearing them,” or,  “You look a lot better in them than I would,” or, “I have the same pair at home (wink wink),” then let the convo continue for another 10 seconds, if you’re lucky.

    Nice going, dude.  Just don't outstay your welcome.

    Nice going, dude. Just don’t outstay your welcome.

It’s NOT ok…

1.  To gawk. Especially when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

2. To say creepy things…especially when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

3. To ignore “please leave me alone” signals. ESPECIALLY when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

Catch my drift? Leave women alone while they’re using machines or weights.

Learn it. Live it.

Learn it. Live it.

What a douche. Don't be that guy.

What a douche. Don’t be that guy.

Use common sense. Don’t be a douche at the gym.