Month: January 2014

Earn More Confidence

Dilemma: You want to look like Bradley Cooper, but you don’t, and never will.  You want to be richer, smarter, leaner, etc.  Therefore, you shy away from taking chances at work, and feel somewhat inadequate with women.  Sound familiar?

The good news is women don’t care as much about looks and money as you think. What they DO care about is confidence.

$20 says he has major swag

$20 says he has major swag

She was already rich...didn't need his money.

She was already rich…didn’t need his money.

Before Brad, there was Billy Bob. Dude has major confidence.

Before Brad, there was Billy Bob. Dude has major confidence.

This model could have any famous guy.  He has what you could have, too...

This model could have any famous guy. He has what you could have, too…

Confidence is a state of mind, and you EARN confidence by making small but significant changes in your life.

Building confidence starts with improving yourself:

Step 1: Do 20 push-ups every morning, immediately after getting out of bed. Then, do 50 sit-ups. Do this DAILY, even if you already workout.

Step 2: Learn something new each day. This can be anything—read the news, watch a documentary, visit a museum, research turtles or penguins or sharks…it doesn’t matter…just learn something!  If you devote half the time you spend on facebook to learning new, interesting things about the world, your knowledge will increase exponentially.

Step 3: Save more money. If you can’t save more money with your current income, get creative with other (legal and ethical) ways to make extra cash outside your main job.  There are all types of ways to make money from home: sell items on craigslist/ebay, work on Amazon mechanical turks, start a successful blog. You can even go old school with a side business—mow lawns on the weekends or even have a lemonade stand:)

Step 4: Become more spiritually active.  Even the most avid atheists can enjoy spiritual peace.  Celebrate whatever higher power you believe in, even if it’s mother earth.  Appreciate the color of the sky, the magnificence of the stars, the wonder of the oceans. Be aware of the world you live in, and be grateful. Your time is limited, after all.

 

Resources I love:

For Fitness and Health:

http://www.crossfit.com/  http://www.mensfitness.com/training/workout-routines  http://thepaleodiet.com/ http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

For Wealth:

http://100startup.com/   http://thesecret.tv/   http://financialmentor.com/wealth-building/how-to-build-wealth/7699  https://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome  http://www.retailmenot.com

For Peace of Mind and Knowledge:

http://tatfoundation.org/best_spiritual_sites.htm  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/15-steps-to-cultivate-lifelong-learning.html   http://www.arthistory.net/  http://www.davincilife.com/

Don’t Leave Home Without Your Self-Awareness, Part 2

Wow. It turns out there are WAYYYYYY more douchebags in the world than I thought. I received so many emails from readers with examples of common inconsiderate actions they encounter from douches everyday, that I decided to add more common douchey inconsiderate-ness to the list, as suggested by my readers.

Common douchey inconsiderate acts, part 2:

  1. Being loud/texting in the movie theater
  2. Not doing a 4-way stop correctly.  Or a roundabout. Or anything traffic related.
  3. Requesting a million songs for the band to play, and then not tipping.
  4. Interrupting
  5. Riding your bike on the sidewalk when there’s a bike lane.
  6. Not looking for bikers while driving in a town with tons of bikers.
  7. Not bringing alcohol to a party where it’s BYOB
  8. Not sharing your alcohol when everyone’s sharing
  9. Leaving dishes in the sink when there’s an empty dishwasher
  10. Not cleaning up after yourself
  11. Taking too much of one thing at a buffet
  12. Not calling your mother on her birthday
  13. Passing gas at the gym and then walking away (yes, this is an actual complaint from a reader)
  14. Throwing weights around at the gym (from the same reader!)
  15. Asking a girl out, then asking her to pay for both of you (yes, a dude actually did this. What a douche.)
  16. Only talking about yourself.
  17. Cursing inappropriately in public
  18. Bringing a trashy girl to a family function. (I don’t necessarily agree with this, but I thought it was hilarious!)
  19. Not paying, or offering to pay, for gas on a road trip.
  20. Hogging the TV

The list goes on and on…

Can you think of any?

Lesson 8: Don’t Leave Home Without Your Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is a pretty broad concept. It’s the understanding and consciousness of how (and why) you look, feel, think, and act. It’s also the foundation for being considerate of other people.

There are many terms of endearment for a person who lacks self-awareness. One might call him “inconsiderate.” I, of course, call him “douchebag.”

Common douchey inconsiderate acts:

1)   Talking on your phone while in the checkout line for anything and everything.  Do I need to explain why this is inconsiderate? I hope not.

This woman looks so sweet! Don't ignore her:( Get off your phone!

This woman looks so sweet! Don’t ignore her:( Get off your phone!

2)   Texting at dinner with friends. I used to be guilty of this, but I didn’t want to be a douche anymore. Therefore, I now turn my ringer off so I’m not distracted, and if I HAVE to text someone in the hour or two I’m at dinner, I tell my friends in advance and make the text exchange less than 15-30 seconds.

What a loser. She's too hot for you anyway.

What a loser. She’s too hot for you anyway.

3)   Not holding doors for people. This one really gets under my southern skin. It’s not a difficult concept! As you walk though a door, glance behind you. If a person is within a step or two from walking through the same door, HOLD IT OPEN!!!!! This especially applies for men holding the door for ladies. Just do it. Women LOVE gentlemen.

Uh huh. He knows what's up...

Uh huh. He knows what’s up…

4)   Blowing your nasty cigarette smoke all over people who are CLEARLY non-smokers. Unless you’re French.  But you’re not.  You’re American. Take it outside.

UGH! This makes me cough just looking at it

UGH! This makes me cough just looking at it

5)   Driving slow in the left lane. You, my friend, are the ultimate douche. Not even blowing smoke in the face of a little old lady while letting the door slam in her face can be a worse douchebag offense than cruising 60 mph in the PASSING LANE. Get in the right lane or get off the road. Your choice.

And while you’re at it…

Don’t be a douche.

Learn it. Live it.

Lesson 7: Don’t Hit on Girls at the Gym…

Unless you read this first.

I know you’re excited to hit the weights after all the holiday eating and drinking, but let’s keep the testosterone in check with what women want/don’t want in the way of attention at the gym.

(Here’s a hint: They don’t want you to be a douchebag)

Yes, every woman is thinking this.

Yes, every woman is thinking this.

Hey, it’s ok…

  1. To look. And by “look,” I mean, maybe a glance or two. Let her know you’ve noticed her, but don’t linger for more than 1 or 2 seconds, and PLEASE, for the love of God, DO NOT look at her while you’re doing bicep curls, grunting, or making noises of any kind. And you’d better not be wearing a douchey tank or wife beater. No.
  2. To give a compliment. Ideally, you want to say something like, “I like your shoes!” if she’s sporting some new neon green nikes, because A) she loves those shoes, too, and B) hearing a guy say, “I like your shoes” (with a smile on his face), makes a woman feel noticed without feeling like a piece of meat. AND, it saves you both potential embarrassment from other gym-goers listening to your conversation. If she’s at all interested, she will give you cues that she’s ok with talking a little longer.
  3. To chat A LITTLE. Ok…you told her you like her shoes. She smiled, tossed her hair, and said, “Thank you!” enthusiastically. Your turn. Keep it short and sweet.  Smile and say something like, “ I don’t think I could get away with wearing them,” or,  “You look a lot better in them than I would,” or, “I have the same pair at home (wink wink),” then let the convo continue for another 10 seconds, if you’re lucky.

    Nice going, dude.  Just don't outstay your welcome.

    Nice going, dude. Just don’t outstay your welcome.

It’s NOT ok…

1.  To gawk. Especially when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

2. To say creepy things…especially when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

3. To ignore “please leave me alone” signals. ESPECIALLY when she’s on the inner thigh machine.

Catch my drift? Leave women alone while they’re using machines or weights.

Learn it. Live it.

Learn it. Live it.

What a douche. Don't be that guy.

What a douche. Don’t be that guy.

Use common sense. Don’t be a douche at the gym.